I
think I "lived" enough and I have experienced most things, real or
imitation. 5 minutes of imitation of love is better then never knowing
how it really feels when its real.
I had everything but in pieces,
most people say that, I just never had that ultimate experience - all
pieces together: it doesn't matter who is going to wash the dishes or
pick up the piece of something that fell on the floor.
Experience
that just is with 2 people [or more :P] understanding each other
through few words and body language. I would hate any philosophizing. I
just did too much of that in my life and like friend of mine said I
would like it light, feeling that floats shattering all nonsense which
our minds are overloaded with.
I don't have urge for it, not need
it. I will be fine if I die tomorrow. It doesn't really matter I won't
be any more so I wouldn't long for it in some afterlife. I won't feel or
think anymore, I won't remember this life at all any more cause I just
won't be.
I believe that what ceases to exist really never was,
but if someone would offer me that ultimate puzzle with all pieces in
one place I would take it.
Something went wrong. I almost had it.
That is how it was in my mind, I don't know about the minds of others,
and I wrote the poem. It was nothing cheesy, lame romantic, I am
absolutely not romantic, There is no shred of romance in me but I can
love , it seems like they just won't let me :P
Its just a
reality the way it is. Romance is unnecessary struggle, waste of energy,
love happens without it and romance just ruins it, being romantic for
me means struggling to be something we are not, and if we are something
we are not, then we won't get what is right for us but just for that
fake imaginary romantic person we play.
That poem never reached
the person I wrote about - I got dumped. I think I am the only person in
the world who would even admit it :)))
He shattered the material
world with one punch and its now floating in his imaginary world
staring everywhere with his empty eyes, seeing nothing, thinking he is
seeing everything but seeing nothing, I am material guy so I am
shattered too.
Empty eyes, empty mind, fake facade. I wish she would come to prove me wrong.
